I curled myself up and tucked in close to him.
The day had been long, he was overstimulated and probably overwhelmed. He needed the sense of calm he hoped I could offer.
I was tired but didn’t want to let him down.
As I laid there beside him he kept reaching his small, brown hand out to touch my face. Again and again he whispered, “Mommy”.
To hear him speak so softly after all day of listening to his bigger-than-life voice, was enough to undo me.
“Chan rak khun,” I whispered back. He just stared at me, clearly unsure whether it was true. So I spoke the words again, low and clear ... “I love you.”
He smiled and his hand rested on my cheek while his eyes stayed fastened on mine. The moment was fleeting before he looked away, but his hand remained.
We’re exhausted and in way over our heads. We have zero clue what we’re doing, our other children are struggling, chaos is reigning more often than not, and we don’t know the way ahead.
But my mind keeps drifting back to Joshua as he led the Israelites into Jericho with the Jordan River raging before them. God could have chosen to lead them across in any season but spring, when the waters flooded their banks.
But He didn’t.
He created an impossible situation and asked them to trust Him to solve it.
And it wasn’t until the priests feet were soaked by the Jordan that the waters pushed back and allowed a path across.
Obedience PRECEDED the victory.
God doesn’t necessarily need us to be good at what He’s given us to do; He needs us to DO what He knows is good.
It doesn’t matter if others understand. It doesn’t even matter if WE understand.
Which is why we’re standing here with our feet in the water before we even know how to swim. But because we know it’s Him who asked us to step into the impossible, we’re convinced dry land is just ahead.
Because even a single soul is worth a life of sacrifice.