BLOG: The Voice of God

Beyond the banana trees in the backdrop of this photo are the rice paddies I walk around in the mornings.

It's only been a few days since I typed up my last blog post and so when the idea struck me to write again, I immediately excused myself, citing the once every 3-6 months rule I've been living by. And then I chided myself for all the things I'm forgetting and I encouraged myself to do better.

So here I am, attempting to do better.

The other morning, I came in from my walk, with one express goal ... to look up a verse God had just taught me while I was praying. I had no Bible and no internet and when the verse first came to my mind, I had no idea what verse it even was. I'm sure it all sounds super strange so let me pause, back up, and explain.

Life here is busy and also loud. From very early in the morning, until the point where I am desperately ready to drop into bed for sleep, there are voices and situations that demand attention. And so to be able to walk with God, I have to carefully guard my very early morning hours or my desire for sleep will steal them away.

And so I've learned to drag myself out of bed before the naysayer in my head can talk me out of it. And because I'm pretty sleepy when I first wake up, it doesn't serve me well to sit in a quiet spot with my Bible right away. But because I believe Scripture and prayer are meant to be joined as two-way communication between the Creator and the created, I need the Scripture stored in my memory so I have it even if i don't have light by which to read my Bible.

Like in the darkness of the early morning, for example.

I have a bit of a routine, you could say, as I "step" into the presence of God. And the first thing I do is to allow myself to be reminded of who He is. Verses come to mind as I scan the starry, night sky and I recite them aloud in praise. While I also speak my own thoughts of adoration to Him, it's hard to improve on David's sense of awe as he sat in wonder of God, so my mind often turns to the Psalms.

And because the powerful words to so many traditional hymns speak of the majesty of God, I've been encouraging myself to bravely choose one to sing into the darkness to possibly the only One who could hear my song and not wince. I think it seems like an offering weightier than other things I could bring, because singing isn't my gift and I'd rather bring something I was "good" at. But God doesn't want a show and He doesn't want His gift to be shrouded in pride. So I come in humility ... and I remain humbled as I present my offering.

I then ask Him to bring to my mind anything I've done to offend Him. Sometimes He'll remind me of how I've ignored Him, or disobeyed His still-small voice. Other times He'll direct me to a person I've offended and I'll know I need to approach them to make it right. What I find is this internal examination doesn't require as much time when I've been intentional to remain in God's presence. Because when I do, He can point out my missteps and poor decisions in real-time and I can immediately confess and turn from them. That keeps them from piling up into a heap that's overwhelming to work through in confession and repentance.

I invite the Holy Spirit to guide me and that goes hand in hand with asking God to help me learn to hear His voice above all others. And here is where the heart of my story from that morning begins.

As I was asking God for His Spirit to fill me, I had the faintest sense that He was saying something in response. It was like hearing someone yelling from a distance, but not being able to make out the actual words. Or really it would probably be better described as someone whispering and not quite being able to pick up the words.

And so I told Him, "I think I hear you speaking but I don't know what you're telling me."

God's response was a single word that popped into my head. And with it came the clear understanding that this was a word from a verse of Scripture. My immediate thought was to take my phone, which I was using as a flashlight, and see if I could type in the word He'd given me and then scan any verses the word appeared in. But my phone didn't have internet connection so that wasn't an option.

I'm ashamed to say I almost shoved the whole thing aside and moved on to pray through my intercessory prayer list. But I was so strongly convicted that God had something to tell me, that I couldn't just move on.

"It seems you're wanting to tell me something and yet I can't hear clearly enough to know what it is. Can you say it louder, maybe?"

A few moments ticked by in silence and a second word was brought to my mind. I knew immediately it went along with the first. A small phrase was forming and I felt a spark of something inside me that wanted more of this direct line of communication with God.

"Okay, I heard that one, too. Are these words at the end or the beginning of the verse you're teaching me?"

Very quickly several more words came together and I knew I had the ending of the message but I needed to know the beginning. And so I waited. Now I want to be clear, that as I was listening, I was careful not to empty my mind. The act of emptying the mind only opens it up to demons and that was the last thing I wanted. So I asked God to protect my mind from outside voices (nobody was around me so I was referring to the voices of evil angels) as I waited and listened for HIS voice.

I had long ago memorized the passage from John 10:7-10 that says, "Then said Jesus unto them again, Verily, verily, I say unto you, I am the door of the sheep. All that ever came before me are thieves and robbers: but the sheep did not hear them. I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture. The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."

We have to be intentional to learn to hear and know God's voice or we'll mistake other voices as being His. If the "sheep did not hear" those other voices, I don't want to, either. I want to hear God's voice well enough that He can teach me a verse I don't already know.

As I listened and communicated back to God the words that were forming a passage in my mind, He helped me order it all correctly until I had an entire passage of Scripture that I was saying back to Him verbally.

I was in awe. Had that really just happened?

Awhile later, when it was time for me to return to the house to the children waking for the new day, the first thing I did was type the verse into my computer. I still didn't know the reference, so I had to type the verse. And sure enough, the verse was right there, exactly as He'd taught me.

I knew I wanted more of that experience. I want to hear God so clearly that He can tell me what to do in ANY situation. I want to hear His instructions on things as seemingly insignificant as my facial expressions and body language. I want my whole self to be surrendered to His bidding. Not as a robot, but as a created being who wants to honor the One who laid down literally everything for His creation.

I've been purposely repeating this experience. Intentionally not using my phone to look things up and instead asking God to remind me. Or to teach me. And time and again, He is doing exactly that.

One quiet (or chaotic, depending on my surroundings) moment at a time, He is teaching me to hear His voice.

I want more. And I know for sure that I never want anything less.